But tonight, I am wide awake. Maybe it's the all the sleep I got today or the anger and confusion burning inside me. Why the anger?! Because we (I) let people close to me control my feelings. Whose to say in life what is right or wrong for us? Family....Friends....Ministers? Who gives them the right?! I guess more then anything right now I am feeling bitter...
For some reason I have always felt the need to be "good". Well, that the hell is that?! "Good" for me is way different then what it is for the young members of Al-Queda... For me it's to live up to some expectation. To be the good child, to get good grades, to have the good hair, to get the good job, etc... But at what point do we live for us?
Meaning at what point do we say "Screw You, Expectation"?
I feel like that point on my journey is coming up and maybe has been building for some time now. Expectations are very slowly for me becoming something of the past...I hope that at some point I can say they are quite extinct.
I pray for wisdom through this journey of life & that I may come across people who assist in guiding me down my path. I live for the moments of inspiration of helping others and putting my own problems to the side, if only for a brief second in time.
Till Next Time, Keep Your Head Up & Stay Strong.